Monday, July 28, 2008

Right Fucking Next to You

Sorority Girl: "It was like in the car to Boston!"
West Girl: "Yeah, when we were like 'Oh man, this song is in Rock Band!' Then we'd play the drums or have a dance party!"
Dumb Girl: "What? When was this?"
SG: "Trip to were there."
Dumb: "Was this when I was in the front seat?"
West: ", actually."

Nice. How do you miss people playing air drums or dancing in the car. Ever.

Also, not related to the interns, but I swear there's some Darwinism going on in Pennsylvania. It's like there's something in the water that makes people smart or very stupid. Like the locals at the Dark Knight midnight showing I went to.

There was one like 12 year old kid who walked in with this huge attitude. He looked like he thought the world only existed because he wished it to. So, he was bossing around his friend who was like a foot taller than him and being altogether very rude and very worth drop kicking in the face. Especially, when he said this about Dark Knight:

Idiot kid 1: "This movie better be good."

WAY TO WIN TARDBUCKET, you're seeing a midnight showing of a movie you don't even care that much or know about.

Oh, so the theater was in this town called Wilkes-Barre. Now, where I grew up (America), we learned that the double r like that would make it pronounced like "bar." But in PA, it makes it sound like "bear" or "bury." Which is dumb enough, imo, but the two kids...

Commercial in theater: "....located in downtown Wilkes-bar."
Idiot kid 2: "Did you seriously say 'Wilkes-bar'?"

Yes, because technically, if you're not from the area you're saying it right, actually.

Back to the fact that this is an opening, midnight showing:

Fan 1: "You know, I never saw the first one."
Fan 2: "I never saw the first one either."

Way. To. Fucking. Be.

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Awesome Ithaca Townies

So, at the movie theater at the mall (new theater), there's a thing set up where you put your coins in a loader, it goes down a ramp, and goes swirling around the thing...lemme find a picture...oh here we go, like this:

Right? Cept this one has a rotating arm that you can aim and set directions for the coins to go. As a joke, I (I think coulda been my friend) aimed the arm STRAIGHT towards the funnel drain right in the middle, thinking that whoever used the arm next would see it and aim it away, possibly wonder who would actually aim the coin right at the drain. A couple walked up like 20 seconds after the funky aim, girl gets a coin, just drops the coin right into the arm and made a pouty face when the coin was moving for all of a second before it disappeared. I tried SO FUCKING HARD not to laugh out loud right then. When the couple left a minute and 4 coins later and were out of earshot I couldn't stop laughing.

HQ Trip

1. There was a big intern hang out event at HQ. One of the things to do was Rock Band. One girl was singing and saw the tambourine part....and actually said "Oh" into the mic every time the circle came up.

2. There was a glass door with a MASSIVE "Emergency Exit Only, Opening this door will cause the alarm to sound" sign on it at eye level. Like 7 full time employees walked through this door. Within 10 minutes.

3. Another event was a talent show in an auditorium. Now, there are a bunch of access doors going to the seats. One girl decided to try a locked door with a very clear and noticeable "Authorized Personel Only" sign on it. She failed. I shook my head

Random Things

1. LaGuyette: "Dude, how do you set up the Xbox? I couldn't get the wires working and I tried for like half an hour."
Me: "....You only had to switch 3, blue, green..."
LG: "Yeah, I was seriously there for 30 mins before I got angry and gave up."
Me: "....Ok, I'll do it."

All he had to do was switch the PS3's red, blue, and green cables to the Xbox's red, blue, and green cables. Admittedly, I shoulda labeled them, but there's only like 6 combinations you can make. That takes maybe 10 mins tops.

When I went to look at the cables, he wasn't even switching the right cables.

2. PennStateGuy wasn't able to figure out how to attach his PS3 to the projector TV we have. So, we've had a PS3 in the house for weeks, but no one but him could play it.

3. We tried to enter a company talent show. Requirement for people not at HQ? Submit a video, place video on YouTube. Four weeks before we even knew about the YouTube bit, we knew we were just going to submit a video. Three weeks before the YouTube bit, I asked everyone if we even had video cameras. Two days before the due date (I had been traveling all weekends so far), people asked if anyone had a camcorder.

Oh, yeah, also, we were given very clear instructions that we had to submit it via YouTube. WestGirl replied to those instructions (to us interns thankfully) with "Does this have to go on YouTube?"

First Week

1. Me: "Hey, how's it going? My name is _____, yours?"
Dumb Girl: "I'm ____, what school do you go to?"
Me: "I'm a rising senior at Cornell University in ChemE. What about your icebreaker jazz?"
Dumb Girl: "I'm a ChemE, rising Junior."
Me: "Nice! I approve."
Dumb Girl: "I go to Worcester Polytechnic Institute."
Me: "Oh yeah, I've heard of it."
Dumb Girl: *ignoring me* "Yeah, it's like MIT but west."
Me: (pretending I didn't actually hear that)"....I'm sorry, I didn't hear, it's kinda loud in here, could you repeat?"
Dumb Girl: "I go to WPI, which is just like MIT but just like an hour west." not a good school. I would've gotten a full ride there, no problem. My brother got a full ride there. I didn't bother applying and my brother was like hell no. There is no way that it is "like MIT."

2. We were going out to dinner at a Mexican restaurant. Sorority girl did the following:
- "How can a Mexican restaurant not have mojitos?!?!?!" Mojitos are Cuban.
- threw a fit and argued with the bartender about mojitos
- insisted on special treatment from the service
- threw a fit when her custom ordered drink was $0.50 more expensive than a margarita

3. We then switched to themed potluck dinners. First up was Italian night. People wanted Caesar Salad (which, tricky thing, is actually Mexican, as a simple Wiki search shows), which isn't too bad, but people also wanted Sangria...which is definitely Spanish or Portuguese.

4. These people all hit "reply all" on the email proposing Italian left for a meeting after getting the initial email....45 minutes later, I had 12 emails just about Italian night and everyone was confused. I skimmed through all the emails and compiled them into menu form, complete with my suggestions for food AND wine for each course. Replies that came back were "you're taking this too seriously" and "what wines should we get."

Also, when someone resent the final menu, they didn't know how to copypaste my menu/email, so they retyped everything. I could tell because there were quite a few misspellings.

5. Air conditioners work according to the laws of thermodynamics. They must do a LOT of work to cool and dehumidify air, hence why most are window mounted; hot side is outside, water drips down. The interns, most of whom are actually ChemE and SHOULD have a decent knowledge of thermo, asked quite seriously why the standalone units are so expensive and why some require a drain pan for water. I actually asked them if they remembered any of what they learned in school.

6. Sorority Girl: "Can we have two guitars in Rock Band?"
Me: "No."
SG: "I'm sure you can have two guitars in Rock Band!"
Me: "...No."
SG: "I KNOW you can!"
Me: "No."
SG: "But I kn-"
Landlord: *After looking at me and seeing that I want this line of questioning to stop* "No. You can't. Nice try."

The Cast of Characters

Sorority Girl: Very ditzy girl from University of Florida. Tends to say "Go Gators" and do the arm closing thingy at every social event. Apparently smart, but, I take that with a grain of salt. And migraine medicine. Super senior.

Dumb Girl: Claims she's "from Massachusetts," from Kenya. And will always be from Kenya. Goes to Worcester Polytechnic Institute. You'll see why she's earned the dumb girl title.

LaGuyette: Guy who goes to Lafayette College. Seems arrogant and a bit of a knowitall...but not too bright. Pretty nice when he's not being super assertive.

PennStateGuy: Nice guy, but can do silly stuff. Apparently blacks out after only a few beers.

I'll add onto this list as I see fit.